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Letters from KW Legacy Ranch Students

"I have inner peace and sense of self...I feel better than ever in my life." Patrick, CA

"Who am I? This was a question that often floated in my mind before I arrived at KW Legacy Ranch. How about 'Change'? Is it possible for me? Is it too late? Before I went to KW, these questions all haunted me. I was angry, or so I thought, and scared. I felt I had nobody to go to for help and began to feel alone. Was I really trapped within this body that showed destruction and hatred toward my family that loved me despite my hurtfulness? I couldn't believe it! They had to be faking it! I'll show them I am in power. They can't do anything! That is what I thought, all of that, before I went to KW. The life that I lived at that time hurt so many people. I did, in fact, feel I needed help at times, but refused it when my parents attempted to give it to me. The life that I was originally living and the road that I was going down lead to destruction, and I was not seeing that at the time. I had no idea I could change, so I thought I should be with more people that hurt their families and were into partying like me. I thought, 'I guess I can't change it, so I'll try to fit in with those like me.' This only hurt me more. The decisions I made in my past were not for the best. They were selfish and uncalled for. My intentions were malicious and even my own heart turned its back on me, not wanting to witness the things I was doing to those who loved me unconditionally. The thing that influenced the best and most positive change in me was KW Legacy Ranch. KW opened my eyes and my heart to family. I have been able to recover the relationships I had begun to believe I could never get back...I have come a great distance, and I have since realized I have family, God, and my KW family with me, supporting me. I made great changes at KW, and I continue on my path of positive change outside of the program and back home. I have changed my anxiety to a minimum, I have changed my dishonesty to honesty, impatience to doing something productive, my disrespect to my family is now full respect, I care about others instead of myself, and there are many other changes. I realize I still have things to change, and I will continue to work on them for the rest of my life. I'm motivated to. Coping skills I learned at KW are being used by me everyday and will be used by me as often as I possibly can use them in my future, as they truly do help me...I have big plans for my future, and I will not allow negative influences to stand in my way anymore. I am stronger now, I have faith, and I know that the future is mine for the taking, and with my family, my support team, and God by my side, I know that I can cope with any tough situation now, control my emotions, and make the decisions that will make my family, my KW family, God, and myself proud. I now feel I have what it takes to be successful. Thank you for helping to make this possible." Tyler, CA

"I've learned that it's not the destination that makes all the difference but the journey. Changing my life has been a journey. It has been long, really hard, and completely uncomfortable, but it has all been worth it. When I started this journey I was sick, I was angry, but mostly I was scared. I was scared to give something up that meant so much to me. This drug was what I believed to be my everything, what kept me going, and without it I just felt so lost and scared. I had hurt, disappointed, and betrayed the people I love the most. The value and worth I saw in myself was so little that I believed myself to be undeserving of a better life, which brought me little interest in wanting to change any of my behaviors. Thankfully...I was given a wake up call and a turning point, one that brought me to move forward towards a better life. A doctor shared with me that my health was now at risk because of my previous using. My first thought and feeling was that I felt deceived because I had always believed my using was helpful, not hurtful. Instead I was now living the consequences I never thought I would. I will always be thankful that I was at the program during this hard time for me though. I was given so much support, encouragement, and care through [the staff]. Each one of them inspired me to push through it and reassured me that in the end it will be for the better. I will never be able to forget that because it meant so much to me to know that I had people to rely on when I had felt so alone through it. it was at this time in my recovery that I decided the lifestyle I had created wasn't what I wanted for myself anymore. Instead I wanted to chase after my dreams and goals of going to college, helping others, being with my family, and wanting to travel around the world. Letting go of my old life was really difficult for me, but I found a lot of strength and hope through God. While I was in the program, I opened up towards God and a power greater than myself. I had not always believed in a Higher Power, actually I was against the whole idea, but when I became willing to create a relationship with God is when I noticed it made a huge influence on my change. He helped me recognize that I do have a purpose in life, much greater than the one I had thought, and also that I have value and worth. In my recovery and in my life, God is my guiding light. It was through him that I finally found the strength to defeat my personal demons. I have learned how to better express my emotions and allow myself to feel through the program. In the past, one of my daily goals was to not feel and just be numb. I hated what it felt like to feel, it was so overwhelming for me that I would prefer to shut down all emotions. Eventually it became natural for me to repress my feelings...It took me a long time and a lot of work to work on this, but I knew if I wanted to stay sober I would have to deal with it. It will always be a work in progress for me, but now I have a better understanding on my emotions. Instead of pushing myself to feel numb, I push myself to feel...With much work I was able to break through a painful belief and take back control of my life. Most of my life I felt defeated by others and saw myself as a victim. I even used this belief as an excuse to allow others to mistreat and abuse me. One of the hardest parts of my recovery was facing my traumas and it was Luke who really helped me the most with it. Instead of feeding into my victim stance, he helped and guided me to take back control of my life. Thanks to that, today I see myself as a strong survivor and not a victim anymore. I still struggled with my views on men and relationships and it still is something I am working on, but I have now learned what a real and true relationship looks like. Rocky and Lynda have been my best example and inspirations for it. Rocky showed me how all men should treat a woman and how women should expcet to be treated and Lynda taught me how you should respect yourself as a lady. This means so much to me and my change because it has been such an inspiration and motivations for me to seek that same kind of special relationship and to give myself that same respect that I deserve. I have been blessed to be able to repair and rebuild the relationships that mean the most to me. When I went into treatment, took a step back, and saw the damage I created to my family relationships I was heartbroken. When I spent some time away from them and got a clear mind again is when I realized how truly blessed I am to have them. I really wanted to make everything right and rebuild the relationship as best as I could. At times it was frustrating from how impatient I got, but I'm thankful for the advice and support [the staff] gave me through it. They helped me see it from their shoes and a different perspective and I believe that is one of the biggest things that have helped me to grow in the relationship with my family. All the work that has gone into it and goes into it has been all worth it because now I have the best relationship I've ever had with my family. It has been a long road filled with ups and downs, but it has all been so rewarding because it has guided me to a better place in my life. Much of my journey has been about me falling down, making mistakes, and being unsuccessful. It wasn't easy for me to stand back up at times, but thankfully I was surrounded by amazing support [from KW staff]. Each helping me in a different way, but all having such a meaningful impact on my life that I will never be able to forget and will forever be grateful for. Although I did the work to get where I am today, if it weren't for all the help, support and guidance I got from God, KW, and from my family, I know I would not be where I am today and where I am heading. I'm moving into a successful path in my life where I know I'll make my loved ones proud. I will be in college studying how to help others, working a job to support myself, continuing my recovery through church, meetings, and therapy, surrounding myself with good and positive people, and I will be showing my family the love they deserve." Nathalia, CA

"I started out this journey on the road less traveled in a pretty bad spot. I was, to put it simply, out of control. I had no respect for my parents...My parents decided that I needed help, and that was the start of a new life for me. At first, I was complacent and did not do anything to better myself. I did a lot of things that I am not proud of. I had a continuous ride on two roller coasters throughout my first four programs, and into the fifth: an emotional one, and a progressional one. My mood would switch to anger in a split second, and that took me places that I did not want to go. As for the progressional roller coaster, I would do well for a spell, and then I'd fall back into old patterns. Since KW, I have made a heck of a lot of changes. I still struggle with my Asperger's, which affects the way that I function on a social level...The more that I work on harnessing my Asperger's, the more I can function successfully in social situations...I struggled with having my life dictated by other people. I did not grasp the concept that I was the one making it that way. That was a result of a lack of perspective. I did not take into account the fact that most restrictions placed on me were put there because I made it necessary. NOT BECAUSE OF OTHER PEOPLE! I used the victim stance thinking error more commonly than I'd like to admit. I also learned that I am more at ease in a structured, outdoor environment - like that of a ranch - than in all the hustle and bustle of city life. I learned that nothing done cannot be undone. What I mean by this is that you may mess up, but you have to do what you can to fix it. The most important part of any mistake is that...While attending KW, I learned that nothing worth having comes without hard work and effort. The work I have put in is what has made me successful here. The changes I have made are dramatic. I have gone from a volatile angry boy who might blow up in your face at any moment to a more controlled me. I can now function in the world. I know how to deal with the difficulties that life will throw at me. I believe that I can and will succeed....Before KW I was into the wrong things. Now, the tables have turned. I am doing great. I am satisfied with where I am, but I still want more. But each day is a choice...The most valued part of the experience [at KW Legacy Ranch] is a three-way tie between the change I have made, the change in my family relations, and the relationships that I have formed. The relationships here have helped me, challenged me, and - at times - sustained me. I cannot begin to describe the impact these people have had on me. I am a better person for knowing them. Thank you for the help you have provided. It will not be forgotten. To quote John Michael Montgomery, 'Life is a dance, you learn as you go.' I intend to dance every round with life; to take in as many experiences as I can - as many good experiences as I can - and learn from each and every one of them. I will work my tail off to maintain my change! I will be the kind of man that people look up to! But, MORE IMPORTANTLY, I WILL MAKE MY PARENTS PROUD!" Tony, KS

"I picture my life as a blank sheet of paper and every person I meet or thing I do leaves a mark on it. Some are made of the finest ink applied by the most gifted of artists while others are stains, tears, or burns...KW Legacy Ranch was and is the tape that fixed my broken piece of paper. This program has definitely done a lot for me. The main thing it gave me is a wonderful relationship with my parents and siblings. It has motivated me in the aspect of 'in order to become something in life, I will have to work hard'...I also committed the rest of my life to doing the right thing and not caring what others think of me." Brad, CA

"When I first came in I was manipulative, full of myself, and blamed all my problems on everyone but myself. I had no idea who I was, or where my life was heading...[now] I've learned to take accountability for my actions and to not justify my reasons for doing something. That was a huge change for me...I stopped focusing on my wants and needs and focused on my friends and family and I worked with them to build our relationships. That was one of the best things I've ever done...I'm in a place where my life is heading in the right direction, my plans for the future are lining up...I'm going to stay strong in my beliefs and standards when things in life come and try to tear me down...I'm going to get along with my parents and siblings, because I love them and am thankful for the relationship we now have...I've made immense changes and I'm so thankful for KW Legacy Ranch and what it has done for me. I'm so excited for my future now and what lies ahead of me. I have so many goals set, which I will achieve. I'm going to take what I've learned here and take the amazing memories I have and use them to move forward. This is only the beginning of my change. It's not over." Alyssa, UT

"I am doing great! I love it here, love the animals especially....I've learned to love and care about myself as well. I've also learned a ton about myself, who I am, and who I want to be. My dream is to one day own a ranch of my own. There is no better place to be than on a ranch, riding horses, herding and milking cows, and plenty of work. I've made satisfaction and pride my new fix. I've been making many great changes and discoveries along side some quality people and students...I miss you and thank you for everything." Matt, CA 

"Thank you for setting me up at KW. I feel blessed to have the people around me that I do. Luke has helped me tremendously with my confidence and new direction, thank you for that opportunity. It has made all the difference in the world to me. Thank you for introducing me into the KW family. I just want you to know the impact your contributions have had on my life. I am an addict, my life had gone to pieces. I was admitted to a program before this, it helped but not enough. I then was transferred to KW. KW has helped me bring my life back together, it gave me back good sense and my family. Thank you for allowing me this opportunity. I wish I was better with my words...for it is difficult for me to express how incredibly grateful I am." Patrick, CA

"When I came into the program, I was kind of a jerk. I lied, argued, and manipulated a lot. I was not getting along with my parents. I was argumentative and extremely disrespectful...As a result of all of the influences and all of the work that I put into my program, I feel almost completely different from whom I used to be. Now I am a respectful, hardworking, loving, and determined young man. Thank you for this opportunity to better my life. It means the world to have people like you... to support me the whole way. I am so grateful for the love I have received from all [the staff]. I plan to come back to KW Legacy Ranch to become a hired staff or intern." Isaiah, CA

"I have finally found meaning in my life! A huge motivation for me to change was my family. After realizing how big of an impact I had on my parents and my siblings it really made me want to change those old behaviors and make them proud of me again. I didn't want my parents to have to lose another night of sleep because they were worrying about me. I had a big impact on my whole family and that is something that I never realized before I came here to KW. I wanted to have a good relationship with them again and I wanted them to be able to trust me. I love my family very much and since I have been here I have gotten closer to them than I have ever been before...I have gained my self-confidence and self-esteem back and I have become highly motivated. I have changed a lot of my negative thinking patterns and I have become a lot more positive and enthusiastic. I have become excited about life and I am ready for whatever comes at me. I have changed my attitude and I am able to handle failure a lot better than I used to. I am not so concerned about what other people think of me and their judgments are not how I define myself anymore. I know who I am and I know what I am capable of. I have found myself again since I have been here and it feels so great to be back to the way I used to be...I have had a great time here at KW Legacy Ranch and although it has been very difficult at times it has been equally as rewarding. I have enjoyed the time that I have spent here and I will remember it for the rest of my life." Klay, AZ

"Upon entering the program, I was full of hate and apathy toward myself; true self-disgust. I lived everyday wishing I weren't. Being alive today is not only a blessing but a miracle...I do not regret my past; it is the thing I'm most grateful for because it has not only made me stronger, but it has made me who I am today. having had the struggles I've been through, and been close to death, I now see life as a gift from God that is to be cherished. Now I can see that and be grateful for what I have and live each day one at a time, to the fullest, trying to get the most out of life...Unlike my past, I enjoy doing hard things, because it's them that I grow the most from. I now love doing homework, school, work; anything I do, I give 100% and live for the feeling of satisfaction and pride of a job well done...I have purpose. I am driven and have a burning passion inside of me, motivating me toward greatness. I've never before been motivated, passionate, or excited about anything, but I'm excited about life! I never before thought I had a future but now I have a vision and hope. I've never had a better connection with my family. I've never before cared about myself, but today I can say that I love myself. I care about my life and where it's going...I am going to study to be a psychologist and start up a program a lot like this one to provide others the intense love and care I've been given here; the tools for hard work that have helped me become a happy, peaceful man; strong in my own beliefs and values, but at the same time, I've gained back that inner childish joy and innocent love for the world." Matt, CA

"When I first got to KW Legacy Ranch, I was in a very bad place. My family life was down the drain. I hardly had a conversation that did not turn into cussing or yelling. My abuse of drugs and alcohol led me astray from the real meaning and values in life and stealing and cussing were just behaviors that came with me abusing alcohol and drugs...With school, I was skipping and was behind with credits. All in all, my life was going to a very bad place and going faster every day. Since being at KW Legacy, I have seen and been shown the real me, not a mad guy going around with very little self-control and wanting to fight the world and steal and get high and drunk and do nothing with my life. Now I know I'm a good person with good values and have goals to go through my senior year with good grades and to work hard at my jobs...I as well have a very driven motivation to go to college to get my degree and after college to join the marines as an officer. I have learned so many life skills I can use...I have learned to have control over my emotions and to be a positive leader in a group...I have done a 180 in my life, and I am actually going somewhere now. I am driven with help from God to make these changes in my life...and to be free from drugs and alcohol and all my bad behaviors. I also have the best relationship I have ever had with my family and is not just about what I get out of it but what I put in." John, FL

"Before KW Legacy Ranch I never really knew what it was like to do the right thing-at least for the right reasons. When I first came to KW, I could not accept the fact that I was there and that I couldn't control everything and everyone. I did not love anyone at the ranch at first, but after getting to know the people it was almost impossible not to. I grew to love and enjoy the ranch and the animals; it became my life and home. With all the support from the staff and leaders I started to change without even realizing it. Being surrounded with the happy and positive people helped motivate me to want to do the things they did. I started to build a much better relationship with my family and grew to love them much more maturely...I have grown to become a much happier person. I am much more patient, and I feel that I have a great relationship with my family. I no longer see drugs and breaking the law as a cool thing to do, I see it as a way to be unhappy, unsuccessful and to destroy my family. I was on a track heading nowhere but KW helped me make change and turn things around...I truly do appreciate the people who have helped me on my way to recovery over the last several years but mainly to KW staff because they truly did care and help me and I count them as family. I have realized that life is not always as planned or expected, but I have come to believe that one must face the problems in life like a man. I am proud of the changes I have made, and I plan to to keep making change. I am extremely grateful for KW Legacy Ranch, because without them I would not have changed my life. I literally owe them my life. Me and my family can never thank you enough." Robert, Cayman Islands

"When I first came to KW, I was a fake person. I didn't know what change was or where I wanted to go in life. I didn't care about people, and I didn't let people help me. I didn't want to change. When I first met the staff, I thought they were mean, and they didn't care about me. I turned out to be wrong, because they are some of the most important people in my life now...I learned that in order to be successful, I have to do it myself. Nobody else was going to do it for me. I had to work my butt off to be where I am today. It wasn't easy. That's how I inherited a good work ethic. I know what real hard work is, and I'm willing to do it every day. Along the road at KW I learned that I couldn't manipulate staff or my parents, because I couldn't be successful in the program and I couldn't have a good relationship with my parents. One of the most important lessons I learned was that I had to care more about my family than my friends or what people think of me, because I realized that the only people that are going to be with me forever is going to be my family. I learned to appreciate every single member of my family and to love them unconditionally no matter what happens...I'm a completely different person than I used to be. I'm a confident, honest, and loving human being. I learned that change doesn't happen overnight, it's a constant process which I will have for the rest of my life. I want to thank you all for the support and encouragement you have given me to be a successful person, for all the skills and tools necessary to face life, and also for all the counseling that my parents received in way of support and advice...I want to thank KW for changing my life." Jean-Marc, Puerto Rico

"I am 16 years old, and I am an only child. Mom mom is a single mother who loves me no matter what. My main problems when I went to KW Legacy Ranch were being disrespectful towards my mom and drug abuse. Before I went to KW, I believe that my priorities and values were flipped from where they are today. When I first arrived at KW, I definitely didn't see many of the staff as people who were trying to help me. I remember being mad that my mom sent me to a program that actually worked, because then I would actually have to change. Looking back on it, I can see how skewed my vision was due to all of the thinking errors I used and my negative outlook. When I was first there, I was lost. I didn't have any goals for myself. I didn't see any guidelines, and I didn't have many morals or values either. This led me to living in the moment and not thinking about how a poor decision would affect me in the future. Something that really helped me and influenced my change was my family, especially my mom. I saw all of the sacrifices she had made for me and how her love was unconditional. It made me feel horrible that I had treated her so poorly, and I couldn't wait to fix it...Another thing that influenced me to change was the staff at KW. As my relationships with them grew, I learned to care more about them, and I didn't want to let them down and I wanted to help them out as much as possible. I came to realize that they cared so much for me it is unbelievable. When I would make a mistake, they didn't hold a single grudge, they were just ready to see me learn and move forward. Something else that I learned which will help me hugely in my life is that I can't depend on other outside things for my success. It is up to me. I believe that before going to KW, I waited for success to come to me instead of going out in the world and getting it. I have learned to overcome this and work for the things that I want in life...I am so grateful for the opportunity I had to go to KW Legacy Ranch and to improve my life. It gave me a time out to fix the things I needed to and reevaluate some of my decisions. I was able to work on improving myself on all levels. I developed such good relationships with the staff, and I cherish them greatly. You all have been such great examples for me. Being at KW gave me more meaning and understanding for the world. With the knowledge I gained there, I am more prepared to overcome my hardships and not only survive but to thrive." Nik, CO

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